Black Christmas (1974)

Tagline: “If this film doesn’t make your skin crawl….it’s on too tight,"
Running Time: 98 minutes

Film quality: 4/5
Gore Content: 2/5
Entertainment Value: 4/5
Originality: 4.5/5

Introduction

Made well before ‘Halloween’, ‘Friday 13th’ and ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’, it’s remarkable that this VERY early slasher isn’t more well known. Criminally overlooked, largely because of the success and sheer brilliance of John Carpenter’s juggernaut of a film, most serious horror films will know all about it but be faced with blank looks by their friends whenever it’s raised in conversations about ‘scary movies’. Setting up some of the tropes that Carpenter ran away with, it’s easy to view it as just another slasher film, except that there was no other slasher film at the time! Even more frightening due to it taking place during the season of goodwill it should be regarded as a landmark film.

In a nutshell…

A sorority house is winding down for Christmas as an intruder creeps into the attic and begins to pick off the girls one by one, unbeknownst to their housemates and the housemaster. It’s only when one of the girl’s father’s arouses suspicions that all may not be well in terms of one of the girls who has gone missing that alarm bells start to ring, including those of the house phone as a series of increasingly disturbing calls plagues the house. Could they be connected to the girl’s disappearance?

So what’s good about it?

Don’t be fooled by the age of the film, it has some truly terrifying moments. The atmosphere is relentlessly bleak and the soundtrack always seems to carry the sound of a draft, making the house seem cold, creaky and unsafe. The sound in this film is terrific with Carl Zittrer’s unsettling score complementing the clearly deranged mind of the killer perfectly. He created a bizarre patchwork of distorted sound effects using everyday household objects such as forks to manipulate the sound of pianos and other musical instruments. It resulted in a soundtrack every bit as unnerving as the one Tobe Hooper used in his chainsaw classic and becomes the unsound mind of the unseen killer.

The set up is beautifully simple. We know that there is a killer in the house because we are introduced to him via a mechanism which is now commonplace but, at the time, was truly original and that is the killer’s point of view. We see him gain entry and seek solace in the attic, an extraordinary shot down before the invention of the steadicam. We see him, through his eyes, come down, suffocate his first victim and take her into the attic where we presume he stays. This puts us on edge for the rest of the film as we know he’s there but our potential victims don’t and the fact that the murders appear to be motiveless, coupled with the moments where we literally hear him scream and tear the place apart, leaves is in no doubt that these ladies are in permanent danger.

This brings us onto the phone calls and it’s fair to say that these must have been pretty shocking in their day. They are obscene to say the least and include screaming, child’s laughter, insane, incoherent babblings and rambling as well as extremely profane language. But the most chilling comes when one of the more ‘forthright’ characters, Barb played by a pre-Lois Lane Margot Kidder, challenges him and, calm as a button his voice goes flat with a simple “I’m going to kill you”. It may be based on the old ‘killer upstairs’ urban legend but the phone call element, chilling sound effects and point of view shots gives the killer an omnipresent quality which sets you on edge from the first minute to the very last.

This brings us on to the climax which is where it differs from most other slasher films. Who the hell is the killer? Where did he come from? What’s sparked his rage? Every other slasher I can think of answers, or at least alludes to who the killer might be. The ending is incredibly ambiguous, finishing on the sound of a telephone ringing which, judging by what happens in the rest of the film, leaves the fate of the killer and ‘final girl’ very much open.

One final word on the subject of Christmas and how this film subverts the festive season. It opens to a very ominous and creepy rendition of ‘Silent Night’ as our killer enters the building and Barb’s murder is set to carol singers belting out sombre Christmas songs whilst she is stabbed to death by a glass unicorn. Again, a first for using a weapon as symbolic of the ‘punishment’ by the killer! Unicorns symbolise purity as Barbara spends most of the film talking about animals able to have constant sex for three days solid, tricking the police into using fellatio as a code and goading the prank caller with sex talk, whilst glass symbolises clarity yet Barbara has passed out drunk.

And what about the bad?

One thing you can’t level at this film is that it falls into clichéd horror movie tropes as this is really where it all began. However if you want to pick a fault with it it’s whether or not a clearly insane man who moves about a lot and screams very loudly at himself can go undetected just yards away from his victims. Of course it’s one of those ‘if he was discovered you wouldn’t have a movie’ type of criticisms and suspension of disbelief is required in any film of this type.

I suppose the one thing that didn’t sit too well with me was the juxtaposition of humour outside the house, particularly within the police station, with the very serious and intense scenes within the house. For me it didn’t need the comedy to make the scares more abrupt or shocking. Also, Peter’s character is a little too obvious for me and was clearly written that way to present him as a suspect rather than for any rational reason.

Any themes?

That’s a tough one. Modern day slashers can be viewed as morality tales whereas this doesn’t precisely follow the same rules that were popularised in ‘Halloween’ and its many imitators. As the killer is in the house there are elements of distraction that prevent the sorority girls from seeing what’s under there very noses. For example Barbara would not have become a victim if she had remained sober and perhaps been taken more seriously by the police if she hadn’t made fun of them.

It also portrays the women as strong-willed, despite ultimately becoming victims. Barbara stands up to the police and the killer, Jess stands by her decision to have an abortion against the highly strung Peter, Clare is clearly rebelling against her rather stuffy father. However they get punished for it so the message comes across as mixed…is it good to be a strong woman if it leads to you becoming a victim by antagonising the weak males, whose desire appears to be to assert their masculinity over them. I find it an odd message but then again it’s kind of an odd film with no real resolution, reason or redemption.

Release history

For once the interest lies in the US where they didn’t really seem to know what to do with it. Released as ‘Black Christmas’ originally, the distributors inexplicably changed the title to ‘Silent Night, Evil Night’, under which it absolutely tanked. The title was changed back for a home video release to much more success but, what’s in a name? Not much apparently as it was then edited for television under the title ‘Stranger in the House’ but was pulled from its premiere, coinciding as it did with a recent spate of murders involving sorority houses and was considered too close to the real life horror, seemingly carried out by the infamous Ted Bundy. Subsequent Home video releases have generally gone by without a hitch.

In the UK it suffered unusual cuts, censored for its language rather than its graphic content to which there really isn’t that much. One obscene phone call in particular caused offence with the graphic repetition of the word ‘cunt’ removed along with some other sexual content. It sailed through uncut for the 2003 Tartan DVD and all subsequent releases, including numerous festive showings on Film 4 and Zone Horror.

Cultural impact

There might have been a four year gap between this and ‘Halloween’ but the impact is clear, it is a precursor to the modern day slasher, no question, and arguably the very first of its type. It was also the very first to use a seasonal holiday or calendar event to base proceedings, first person killer (or at least the first to popularise it), final girl, terrible place and many of the other things that we now see as cliché.

Clark has been quoted as saying on several occasions that he spoke to John Carpenter about the possibility of doing a sequel to ‘Black Christmas’ and ideas were bandied about. One of those was the genesis of what became ‘Halloween’ with babysitters being stalked instead of sorority girls. By extension you could argue that had there been no ‘Black Christmas’ there would have been no ‘Halloween’. That doesn’t mean to say there would have been no slasher film but would we have seen the late 70s/early 80s horror boom without the huge number of slasher films that came from that era. The horror landscape would certainly have been different and a lot of the credit can be laid firmly at the feet of Bob Clark.

Final thoughts

Criminally underrated, ahead of its time and, despite viewing it now with the consequence of the clichés it helped to bring about, not given the credit for its originality that it richly deserves. It is relentlessly frightening at times and unbearably tense, delving deep into the mind of an unknown psychopath without ever introducing us to him. It is an unsettling film and for the genre it helped to create it should be respected as a landmark in American horror that is due a serious re-appraisal.

Memorable Quotes

Mrs MacHenry: “These ladies would hump the Leaning Tower of Pisa if they could get up there.”

Clare: “Could that really be just one person?”
Barb: “No Clare, it’s the Mormon Tabernacle Choir making their annual obscene phone call.”

Barb: “Darling, you can’t rape a townie.”

Farmer: “The next time you’re gonne get the gun up your ass…..sideways!”

Jess: “Hellooo”

You’ll like this if you enjoyed…

‘Halloween’, ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’, ‘Christmas Evil’

The League of Gentlemen Christmas Special (2000)

Tagline: ‘Yule Never Leave!’

Running Time: 55 minutes

Film Quality: 5/5
Gore Content: 2/5
Entertainment Value: 5/5
Originality: 4/5

Introduction

I know this is a departure from my usual VHS-era ramblings but, as it’s Christmas, you can forgive a little indulgence on my part!

Those of you outside the UK might not be too familiar with ‘The League’. They are a comedic quartet who delighted and disturbed the country in equal measure through three TV series. After the second, incredibly dark series they announced a Christmas Special and, though we all knew it would be far from snowy white, nobody could have predicted just how far the other way they would go. Embracing the tradition of telling ghost stories at Christmas, what they conjured up is a near perfect hour of television that scared the stockings off people who tuned in expecting a Christmassy delight. Critically acclaimed, it remains the high point of The League’s genius and a lesson to all comedy writers of how to avoid Christmas special clichés and do what you do best.

In a nutshell

It’s Christmas Eve in the Northern village of Royston Vasey where grumpy vicar Bernice is closing up for the night. She is visited by three men who all have a mysterious tale to tell, will it help her to confront her demons and show her the true meaning of Christmas or will she start throwing more snowballs at Santa?!?

What’s good about it?

From the very first opening montage you know you’re in for a Christmas Special, League of Gentlemen style! A point of view shot reveals someone picking up a dead bird whose legs have fallen off before urinating in the snow and throwing it at a passing Santa whilst all the while we hear an ominously out of tune version of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ playing underneath. The reveal shows this character to be the local vicar! Yes, this is dark comedy territory and it soon becomes apparent that the format they’ve chosen is the portmanteau style favoured by the old 50s and 60s Hammer and Amicus classics.

The League have always been influenced by horror and the three tales are genuinely unsettling whilst still retaining that festive atmosphere which is a real skill. The first story, concerning Stella’s use of a cult called ‘Solutions’ who indulge in a spot of voodoo to dissuade her husband from line dancing has a wonderful scene close to the start where they argue bitterly whilst putting up the decorations…haven’t we all done that? The second, concerning a choirboy’s terrifying experiences in Germany takes us to the country where many of our Christmas traditions were born. The third is about a family curse set in Victorian times, bathed in candlelight with snow, Christmas trees and all of the atmosphere of a Charles Dickens inspired Christmas.

Underlying the warm feeling of Christmas are some moments of genuinely terrifying horror and jet black plot twists. The standout scene is in the second story when Matthew, suspecting his choirmaster Herr Lipp (!) is a vampire experiences a terrifying nightmare whilst staying in a room decked out for a small boy; ultimately seeing himself with eyes and mouth sewn together and dead in a cupboard. The first story has some genuinely unsettling moments within the cult and perhaps the bleakest ending of the trio of stories whilst the third has a wonderfully weird ‘shadow puppet show’ that explains away Dr Chinnery’s curse from the TV series.

The film references are plentiful. A masterful use of light and shadow references the famous scene where Nosferatu approaches the stairs in the silent classic. ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ is plainly in evidence during the cult scenes, 'Salem's Lot' whilst any number of Hammer and Amicus references are present and, for me, atmospherically, ‘The Dr and the Devils’ penetrate parts of the third story. But it’s the framework, bringing to mind ‘A Christmas Carol’ which really gives the film its essence. Bernice isn’t visited by three ghosts, rather the three very normal and troubled individuals who cause her to revisit her own ghost, namely a childhood trauma associated with Christmas that resulted in her becoming an orphan.

It’s this framework that gives us one final twist where, seeing Bernice as a happy and changed person, a la Scrooge, after having helped the trio comes face to face with her own past. To say that the final scene is a hammer blow is an understatement and stays with you for a very long time. Most TV shows would have ended with a ‘Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight’ and left it at that, but not The League! I won’t spoil it for you but it absolutely shattered me, still sends shivers down my spine and sums up everything The League was about.

And what about the bad?

For me, absolutely nothing…it’s as brilliant a piece of TV as I have ever seen with all three stories hitting the spot and the wraparound arc giving a purpose for those stories and a context for Bernice’s cynicism and hostility. My only slight complaint would be the third story which lags slightly in the middle but, as Mark Gatiss (one of the League) has said several times when commenting on horror films, the best thing about a portmanteau horror film is that if there’s a story you’re not so keen on, another one will be along in a few minutes.

Any themes?

Ghost stories around the hearth is a very traditional part of Christmas that dates right back to Victorian times. There is clearly an intention to reinvent that tradition and that is why the portmanteau style suits what The League were trying to do by giving them the chance to tell four ghost stories. The fact that it’s recounting past events just gives it an extra dimension of The League letting one of their characters literally tell the tales as we and Bernice ‘listen’. Each story has its own version of dark Christmas traditions, whether it’s the idea of being forced to have fun whilst deep family resentments bubble underneath the surface, the idea of something very dark and gothic hiding behind a children’s choir in Germany or a typically Dickensian setting…it’s all there.

Despite its Dickensian atmosphere, it has, at its heart, a very anti-Dickensian sentiment. Whilst ‘A Christmas Carol’ is all about redemption, The League turn that sentiment on its head. Just as a character is about to be redeemed or think they’re about to be redeemed something horrible happens to them. Paedophile Herr Lipp ends up being the victim whilst his vampire ‘wife’ (I don’t think that’s giving too much away…the visual clues are there from the get-go!) gets away with it whilst Stella thinks she gets her way only to have somebody else’s blood on her hands. We’ve already touched on Bernice’s fate. There are no happily ever afters in this incredibly dark fairy tale!

Staying with the Christmas theme the cast keep up with the Pantomime traditional of men playing grotesque and exaggerated women, in fact The League followed it up with a live pantomime show some years later which was very well received. This is something The League have done throughout all three series but it has particular relevance here…also kudos for not featuring fan favourites David and Tubbs, they clearly felt there was nowhere they would fit in and The League have never been ones to compromise!

Release History

Shown on BBC2 on 27th December 2000 it has never suffered from any censorship issues and was screened several years in succession over the Christmas period. It has had a DVD release but no blu ray release which is a shame because it’s beautifully shot and full of glorious detail.

Cultural Impact

It was screened to huge critical acclaim and one of the first examples of a Christmas Special which was designed to scare rather than warm the cockles. Various members of The League have done their own thing at Christmas, most notably Mark Gatiss who created another magnificent portmanteau with ‘Crooked House’. He also adapted an M. R. James story, ‘The Tractate Middoth’ which was okay but suffered a little with its uneven pacing despite some pretty good scares. Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith will be looking to carry on the tradition with a Christmas Special of their brilliantly twisted ‘Inside No.9’ series which will be set in the 70s and revolve around ‘Krampus’.

The League themselves have become a symbol of dark comedy and blatantly inspired ‘Little Britain’ which, though more popular, for me tried far too hard and lacked the intelligence and subtlety of some of The League’s humour. Sheersmith and Pemberton paired up and create the equally brilliant and warped ‘Psychoville’ (titled as such because that was the literal translation of Japan’s titling of ‘The League of Gentlemen’ which they loved) running for two series.

Viewed by many in the same league as ‘Monty Python’ who also specialised in surreal and dark humour, delighted in men playing female characters and branched into film before excelling either in partnership or individually, we all live in hope that they may one day come back and work together once more…hopefully for another Christmas Special!!!

Final Thoughts

A brilliant piece of TV that has become a part of my Christmas. It may not have the same notoriety elsewhere in the world, in fact I have no idea how far this special has reached, especially given that the series doesn’t necessarily have mass appeal. If you do get the chance to see it, spot it on the TV schedules this Christmas or come across it in your local DVD shop then don’t hesitate to watch it…you’re in for a real festive cracker.

Memorable Quotes

Papa Lazarou: “You’re my wife now.”

Purblind: "I've never seen such a look on a face, a few times on cows and once on a gorilla but never a human face

Matthew: "Are you the Vicar?"
Bernice: "No, I'm the fucking Gardner."

Papa Lazarou: "Hello Dave.....you're.....all grown up...."

You’ll like this if you enjoyed…

“Gremlins’, ‘The Wicker Man’, ‘Black Christmas’

Gremlins (1984)

Tagline: “Cute. Clever. Mischievous. Intelligent. Dangerous.”

UK Running Time: 106 minutes

Film Quality: 4/5
Gore Content: 2/5
Entertainment Value: 4.5/5
Originality: 3/5

Introduction

The early 80s saw a rise in the appeal of horror comedies, largely due to the success of films such as ‘An American Werewolf in London’ (see my review of John Landis’ classic by clicking here). The late 70s and early 80s had seen a few controversial horror movies subverting the season of goodwill so it was only a matter of time before somebody came along and combined the more seasonal elements of Christmas with the potential for a good scare. Step forward Joe ‘The Howling’ Dante who took Chris Columbus’ script and came up with a film that some felt struggled to decide whether its audience was young adults or older children but has, over time, become a much loved staple of Christmas viewing for us children of the 80s!

In a nutshell

Looking for the perfect Christmas gift for his teenage son, Billy, an inventor comes across a backstreet store in Chinatown where he is introduced to a Mogwai – an unbelievably cute animal. Taking him home with three simple instructions, it becomes apparent that behind ‘Gizmo’s cute exterior lies the potential to terrorise and destroy if those three rules are not followed.

So what’s good about it?

Beautifully subverts Christmas

Dante brings a refreshingly anarchistic tone to Christmas movies which, other than those few subversive horror movies, had remained distinctly saccharine. Sending up the picture postcard view of suburban America at Christmas that we’ve seen a million times in films such as ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and ‘Miracle on 34th Street’, Dante shows us how easily that postcard can be ripped up to become more like ‘Pottersville’. The tone he brings to the film switches very quickly between light hearted and funny, such as the scene with the bar full of Gremlins and the cinema, to dark and frightening such as the scene featuring Billy’s Mum defending her kitchen and Phoebe Cates’s infamous and controversial speech – more on that later.

Relentlessly cute!

I love the creature design in this film. Every child in the world would want a Gizmo who must be the single cutest ‘puppet’ brought to screen both in terms of design, actions and voice acting. Conversely the Gremlins are very demonic with harsh and sharp features, slimy mouths full of teeth and horribly gruff voices. Whereas Gizmo is soft and fluffy, the Gremlins are harsh and scaly, they really do look quite frightening and capable of causing harm, as demonstrated during the attack on Billy’s mum.

The rules that were specified, don’t feed them after midnight, don’t get them wet and keep them away from bright light are brilliant. I would like to think that this isn’t a spoiler but the multiplying by water idea is inspired and catapults the film forward when one of them finds himself in the local swimming pool! The film has a fairy tale quality to it, beginning and ending in a ‘Once Upon a Time’ style narration which is reinforced by the typically fairy tale trope of a change happening after midnight, a la ‘Cinderella’. Those old Grimm Fairy Tales always had a bit of a gruesome edge to them, I’m sure they would have approved!

We can’t leave this section without mentioning Phoebe Cates’ (left) incredible monologue about why she doesn’t celebrate Christmas. It’s heart breaking and compulsive at the same time and delivered in such a bleak fashion that it doesn’t quite seem to fit in with the rest of the film. But there is a horrifically comic aspect to the tragedy in the tale which sums up the film as a whole and that’s why it was a great decision by Joe Dante who stood his ground against the studio execs who demanded that scene be removed. It’s one of the standout moments of the film and truly unforgettable.

And what about the bad?

I personally enjoy a little bit of a cynicism in my Christmas stories, so long as the atmosphere remains festive, but the film was roundly criticised for being TOO cynical. The world wasn’t used to anarchic seasonal films (particularly not when they were released to cinemas in June – who the hell made THAT decision?!?) like they perhaps are now (‘Elf’, ‘Bad Santa’, ‘Scrooged’, etc…). Having said that, likeable characters die, there is a lot of destruction and this didn’t go down too well with some viewers.

Fairly violent for a Christmas movie!

You have to say that it’s not always obvious who the film is aimed at. It’s not scary enough for young adults and older teens but too violent and scary for younger kids. It was one of the films, along with ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom’ that caused a change in the US rating system and it was lumbered with a ’15’ rating in the UK well before the ‘12’ rating came into effect. Despite all of that, and that it was released well out of season, it made a healthy profit of just over $150million return on an $11million budget so it certainly connected in a big way.

Any themes?

The film has plenty to say about the over-reliance on technology, in fact it comes across very much as anti-technology. Despite appearances the Mogwai is a foreign force of nature that we don’t understand, it’s been kept a secret from what you might call ‘The Western World’ but as soon as it is introduced to ‘our’ world, we contaminate and abuse it, more by design than purpose. When the shopkeeper from Chinatown arrives to pick up Gizmo he disapprovingly comments “You teach him to watch television?”, he’s acusing the Western world of trivialising one of nature’s wonders. Billy’s father is an inventor whose creations cause more trouble than they solve and, the Gremlins constantly cause electrical devices to fatally malfunction. Interestingly, the only kitchen gadgets that seem to work are the microwave and food blender, both used in the end to kill – the question is how are we using technology and is it all for our own benefit?

It’s interesting that all of Billy’s Dad’s inventions cause chaos, but the one thing he brings in that isn’t an invention (which they call ‘Gizmo’, a slang word for an electronic device) is the thing that causes the ultimate disruption. It’s due to the tampering with another electrical device, in this case the clock, that things start going horribly wrong.

I’ve mentioned before that the film flits quickly between light and dark moments. That’s what the Gremlins are, the dark side to Gizmo’s light, just as this film shows the dark side of Christmas (Phoebe’s story) against the picture postcard festive ideal. There are lots of examples of light versus dark such as the innocent and likeable Billy against the arrogant and cynical Gerald (a pre-Rosewood Judge Reinhold), the nasty, Potter-like Mrs Deagle who lovingly destroys families and Billy’s Mum who protects hers and of course the mayhem that ensues when western culture meets east.

Release history

No censorship problems but it was cut down for a TV version in the US which omits the three gory Gremlin deaths and some of the climax. In the UK there has never been an issue, however it has become a regular fixture of the Christmas TV schedules and you will see it in a censored version (missing Phoebe Cates’ monologue just in case it ruins anyone’s Christmas!) in a mid-afternoon slot.

Cultural Impact

It carried on the love for horror comedies, started by ‘American Werewolf’, and inspired a number of knock-offs, most notably ‘Critters’ and ‘Ghoulies’ as well as an inferior sequel which does have its fans. There was also a throwaway line in ‘The Goonies’ alluding to “animals that multiply with water”, both films of course featuring Corey Feldman. There has been talk about a third film, a sequel rather than a reboot, which would be interesting with the advancement of modern technology but no further word since the end of 2015. Scottish rockers Mogwai took their name from the loveable creatures and the movie itself has become a yuletime favourite and a feature of festive TV schedules.

Final Thoughts…

Great fun that has some very dark humour without skimping on the festive spirit and has everything from likeable characters to a genuinely scary creature terrorising a small town. Dante repeated the trick later in his career with the less impressive but equally enjoyable ‘Small Soldiers’, aiming that one firmly at the child market but this one is less easy to pin down. It has something for everyone, just make sure your children no longer believe in Father Christmas before letting them watch it!

Memorable Quotes

The beautiful final shot...

Futterman: “Goddamn foreign cars.”

Gizmo: “Bright light, bright light, bright light.”

Grandfather: “With Mogwai comes great responsibility.”

Grandfather: “To understand, one only has to listen.”

You’ll like this if you enjoyed…

‘Critters’, ‘Ghoulies’ (click here for review), ‘Small Soldiers’, ‘Scrooged’.

The DPP 39: Video Nasties Part 3

In 1984, the Video Recordings Act ushered in a terrifying new era in UK home video entertainment. The regulation and subsequent censorship of home videos by the British Board of Film Classification led to a number of films being seized by the authorities and prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act 1959. In total, 39 of these films were successfully prosecuted, over the coming months The Horror Video will look very briefly at the release history of each film and its current status. We’ve already covered the A’s (click here to check out ‘Absurd’, ‘Anthropophagus’ and ‘Axe’) and some of the ‘B’s (click here for ‘Bay of Blood’, ‘The Beast in Heat’ and ‘Blood Feast’), here are the rest!

Title: ‘Blood Rites’ (1969)

Director: Andy Milligan
Uncut running time: 81 minutes
Alternative titles: ‘The Ghastly Ones’

One of the rarer titles on the list and not one that’s been a viewing pleasure of mine. The plot revolves around three sisters required to spend three nights on a remote island before they’re able to read their late father’s will. Along with a Hunchback called Colin - dead bodies and severed heads start to show up before it becomes apparent that someone isn’t who they claim to be and the family secret is revealed. This has been pretty much universally panned due to its low budget of just $13,000 being used by a crew with little imagination or skill to do anything worthwhile with it.

Scorpio released the film in the UK in March 1983 and it ended up on the list in August 1984 where it stayed. Technically it’s still banned but only because nobody has tried to release it.

Current status: Still no release in the UK, available uncut as part of a triple feature on Bayview in the US.

Title: ‘Bloody Moon’ (1981)

Director: Jess Franco
Uncut running time: 84 minutes
Alternative titles: ‘Profonde Tenebre’, ‘Collegialas Violadas’, ‘Die Saege des Todes


Another one that I’ve yet to sit through this is legendary schlockmeister Jess Franco’s attempt at a slasher film which inevitably made the nasties list. It has a typical genre set up, in this case an adult Spanish language school that is teeming with sex crazed women just ripe for picking off. By all accounts it’s not Franco’s best effort and opinion is divided as to whether he intentionally hammed it up or just didn’t care for the plot. It is reputed to be pretty gory, a circular saw in particular troubled the BBFC!

The film was released on video by Interlight in a cut and uncut version, the censored release being the same as the cinema version which was missing 1:38s of blood and gore. It stayed on the list for the duration after being prosecuted in July 1983 before VIPCO waded in with a slightly less cut version, stacking up 1:20s of cuts in 1993. Severin finally dusted off the uncut version and got it past the censors in 2008, bringing out a blu ray release in 2015.

Current status: Uncut in the UK on Severin blu ray rated 18, the same company holding the US uncut rights.

Title: The Burning (1981)

Director: Tony Maylam
Uncut running time: 91 minutes
Alternative title: ‘Cropsy’


This film actually made a loss at the box office thanks to its slightly inflated $1.5million budget. There’s a lot of talent in this ‘Friday 13th’ clone but Tom Savini is the star with some incredible gore effects that raise this above most of the other pretenders. The raft massacre in particular is highly unusual in slasher film lore by offing five people in the space of around 30 seconds! Also ‘starring’ a very young Holly Hunter with music by Rick Wakeman it’s a case of talent overcoming content and, for that reason, it’s become something of a cult classic. You can read my full review by clicking here.

It’s quite possibly that this was banned because Thorn EMI ‘accidentally’ released an uncut version which shopkeepers were unwilling to hand back in place of a cut version! Just 10 seconds were cut for the cinema version but it made quite a difference, mainly from the raft scene. When it was re-released in 1992 by VIPCO they somehow managed to conspire to see it suffer more cuts totalling 19 seconds, finally getting it through in a terrible print but at least it was uncut in 2002. Arrow gave it the five star treatment in 2016.

Current status: Uncut in the UK on Arrow Video, uncut in the US on Shout Factory.

The Hitcher (1986)

Tagline: “The terror starts the moment he stops”

UK Running Time: 96 minutes

Film Quality: 4/5
Gore Content: 2.5/5
Entertainment Value: 4/5
Originality: 3.5/5

Introduction

We’ve all heard the urban legend of the murderous hitchhiker or the mad axe man in the back of the car waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting driver. Such tales play on our fear of being caught in a confined space with a terrifying situation from which you cannot escape. It’s the idea of being in such a familiar place with a person of dubious, psychotic intent where the choice to enter that situation has been your own. ‘The Hitcher’ plays on both of those fears and runs with it in one of the few horror films that chooses the action film as its subgenre.

In a nutshell

Jim Halsey’s Mum told him never to do this! Picking up a hitchhiker whilst on a cross country journey in a drive away, he inadvertently puts his own life in danger as he is picked as the next victim of John Ryder, a seemingly omnipresent serial killer who he picks up to try and keep him awake. What ensues is a cat and mouse thriller across the deserted highways of middle America, but will the cat or the mouse emerge victorious?

So what’s good about it?

The opening ten minutes are tremendously tense as the likeable youngster picks up our world-weary hitcher during a torrential downpour and quickly realises his murderous psyche during some brilliantly cagey dialogue. C Thomas Howell plays the innocent naivety of Halsey with a great smile and cautious respect for his elder whilst Hauer is utterly terrifying as Ryder, stalking his prey and toying with it like a cat with a Field Mouse. That he underestimates his younger adversary sets in motion this cat and mouse journey where Ryder taunts and teases Halsey, putting him through hell.

The script was originally chock full of gore and violence with families slaughtered, police massacred with disembowelments and decapitations galore. Producer David Bombyk wisely urged a re-write to remove much of the violence and, along with Director Robert Harmon’s musings on the script as a Hitchcockian thriller aimed to take it as far away from a traditional slasher film as possible. This meant that what we are left with is a very taught, psychological horror film which plays on our basest fears and allows us to empathise and identify with Halsey whilst showing us a villain who, like most slasher protagonists, is on a motiveless killing spree. Very clever in a decade full of disposable and indistinguishable stalk and slash movies!

There's no escape in the open country

Moving along to the production, the cinematography really is impressive. Director Harmon makes great use of the desert expanse in that opening few minutes, juxtaposing the endless road and ‘nothingness’ around him which should represent escape, with the poky confines of a car seat and seatbelt. He then later manages to make that expanse a prison from which the only obvious escape is the confines of a police car and cell. This playing with confines of space is emphasised inn one of the opening shots where a near miss with a truck is filmed and shown with one of the widest shots in the film. A wonderful example of how this film plays with conventions and keeps you guessing.

This juxtaposition and mirroring is never more complex than in the relationship between Halsey and Ryder. We don’t know why Ryder is after him. He could kill him at any moment (guns most definitely kill in this film!) but chooses to keep him alive, orchestrate an escape and ultimately cause his own downfall. In many ways Halsey plays the ‘final girl’ character throughout the entire film! He’s the only one who can ‘see’ the killer, the only one who continually escapes his clutches and ultimately turns the tables. It’s a thrilling ride of a film (if you’ll pardon the pun!), an unusual and intelligent antidote to the glut of 80s slasher films and allowed the brilliant Rutger Hauer one of his most memorable and iconic rolls.

And what about the bad?

When it boils down to it, this is basically a cat and mouse chase film that may look more intelligent than it actually is. There’s a lot of style over substance and we never really get a chance to drill down into the characters’ psyches other than Halsey as victim and Ryder as villain. It’s ‘Tom and Jerry’ without the laughs! The police are as woefully ineffective as they are in most of your more traditional horror films and, to be honest, not a particularly likeable bunch anyway!

It depends on your point of view, mine is that it’s great fun and the implausibility of plot threads don’t really matter but it does takes some serious liberties. How does Ryder manage to sneak in, kidnap Nash, tie her between a truck and a trailer and get in the driver’s seat without anybody spotting him? Where did the severed finger come from and how did it get there? How does Ryder escape police custody close to the finale? I suppose the simple answer to all of those questions is ‘It doesn’t matter’ and that’s the massive pinch of salt you need to take to get full enjoyment from a film like this.

Any themes?

Ryder represents the open road and all of the dangers that come with it. The film opens with a near miss and the very first words of dialogue in the film are ‘My mother told me never to do this’ so there is clearly a metaphor there for not taking the open road and the harsh surrounding territories lightly. Films such as ‘The Hills Have Eyes’, ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ and, in particular, ‘Dust Devil’ follow similar themes with Ryder being the threat made literal. He also displays almost supernatural abilities, popping up when you least expect him and, when interrogate behind a two way mirror, reacting when Halsey whispers his name whilst well out of sight and sound. He certainly comes across as a mythical figure, he just ‘appears’ at the side of the road and this is also where he is dispatched. Is it beyond the realms of possibility that he could come back to terrorise another passing Samaritan?

Ryder gives Halsey 'The Finger'

Halsey is the one that escapes The Hitcher…Ryder says close to the beginning that ‘I want you to stop me’. Has Halsey been singled out as special and the one who has been ‘chosen’ to end his reign of terror, maybe even pass on the baton? Ryder has ample opportunity to kill Halsey but doesn’t, keeping him in the game, terrorising him. Halsey is the one on the run and it may be significant that one of the first things he does when he picks Ryder up is light a match for him, significant because it’s also the very last thing we see him do, except this time he is doing it for himself having dispatched his adversary. He’s taken his life and won the game but where can he go from here…he doesn’t get in the car and Ryder has taken everything from him. He’s a very different person from the wide-eyed innocent lad in the opening shot - as the last shot illustrates there’s nothing left, he’s literally a silhouette.

Release History

A lot of changes were made to the original script which was written to be much more gruesome but very little of it made the final draft and there were no issues with this film in terms of censorship. It’s always had a VHS and DVD release in the UK (criminally no blu ray yet) and been screened uncut on network TV a number of times.

Cultural Impact

John Ryder has become something of a cult figure more than an icon. Despite the fact they hide behind masks and don’t say a word, Ryder remains a more mystical and mysterious figure than Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees with a distinctive look thanks to his trenchcoat. The film itself has always maintained a cult following but was more of a critical success in Europe and the UK than it was in America.

Rutger Hauer was already forging himself quite a career playing offbeat characters and is clearly having a great time here, cementing his reputation. Were it not for his incredible turn as Roy Batty in ‘Bladerunner’ this would be his definitive role. Rumour has it that C J Thomas was scared of him off set due to his intense appearance, despite by all accounts having a reputation as a kind and gentle man, which certainly comes across during his scenes in the car, diner and truck cab.

I’ve never seen the remake but surely the fact that Sean Bean plays The Hitcher gives away his fate?

Final Thoughts

So which is it…an arty, articulate action film or a stylish and psychological slasher? I’ve always had a soft spot for this film and in my opinion it has one of the most intense and frightening opening ten minutes of any genre. Despite shifting away from sheer terror to psychological game playing and just about preventing itself from straying into action film territory there’s no denying it is a thrill ride.

Memorable Quotes

Ryder: “Well he couldn’t walk very far.”
Halsey: “Why not?”
Ryder: “Because I cut off his legs……..and his arms…….and his head…….and I’m going to do the same to you.”

Ryder: “I want you to stop me.”

Esteridge: “There’s something strange going on between you two, I don’t know what it is and I don’t want to know what it is.”

You’ll like this if you enjoyed…

‘Dust Devil’, ‘Breakdown’, ‘Joy Ride’, ‘The Hills Have Eyes’, ‘Duel’

The DPP 39: Video Nasties Part 2

In 1984, the Video Recordings Act ushered in a terrifying new era in UK home video entertainment.  The regulation and subsequent censorship of home videos by the British Board of Film Classification led to a number of films being seized by the authorities and prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act 1959. In total, 39 of these films were successfully prosecuted, over the coming months The Horror Video will look very briefly at the release history of each film and its current status. We’ve already covered the A’s (click here to check out ‘Absurd’, ‘Anthropophagus’ and ‘Axe’) Six of the titles begin with the letter ‘B’, here are the first three!

Title: ‘A Bay of Blood’ (1972)

Director: Mario Bava

Uncut running time: 84 minutes

Alternative titles: ‘Bloodbath’, ‘Twitch of the Death Nerve’, ‘Carnage’, ‘The Ecology of a Crime’, ‘Last House on the Left Part 2’, ‘Reazione a Cartena’, ‘Antefatto’, ‘New House on the Left’

Arguably the very first ‘slasher’ film this bizarre effort from horror legend Mario Bava plays a lot like a gory version of ‘Ten Little Indians’ with pretty much every character a suspect AND a victim. Lots of highly inventive and gruesome deaths, all involving weapons to be utilised in future slasher films including a knife, spear, hook, machete and a noose! You can see its influence, particularly on the ‘Friday 13^th’ franchise, in later films.

It didn’t start well for Bava’s film, refused a UK cinema certificate in 1972, it was released by Hokushin as ‘Blood Bath’ in February 1983, surviving for an entire year before it was seized and prosecuted in March 1984. It was a decade before Redemption Video tried to release an uncut version under its ‘Bay of Blood’ title, managing to distribute a version which was missing 43 seconds. Cuts included a throat slitting, machete in the head and two impalements by spear. Arrow video finally managed to get it passed uncut in 2011.

It’s difficult to say how many versions there are as it is almost impossible to keep up with the number of alternate titles!

Current status: Uncut in the UK since 2011 on Arrow video, uncut in the US on Kino

Title: ‘The Beast in Heat (1977)

Director: Luigi Batzella

Uncut running time: 86 minutes

Alternative titles: ‘SS Hell Camp’, ‘SS Experiment Part 2’, ‘La Bestia in Calore’, ‘Horrifying Experiments of the SS Last Days’

One of the harder nasties to get hold off, the original VHS release can fetch hundreds of pounds on eBay and is highly collectible. I’ve not had the ‘pleasure’ of this film but apparently it has something to do with a female SS officer who somehow creates a sex-crazed manbeast which she uses to rape and torture female prisoners by feeding it aphrodisiacs! An odd entry to the subgenre of Nazi exploitation which has never been something of particular interst to me but was strangely popular in the late 70s.

There’s not much of a history to this one, with no cinema release it was brought out on VHS through JVI completely uncut. Needless to say this was quickly seized during the moral panic in October 1983 and remained on the DPP list throughout. Nobody has even attempted to get this past the censors, no doubt because they would have little chance of a coherent release but also because there simply isn’t much an appetite for this kind of film anymore…certainly not in the form it would likely be released.

Current status: Banned in the UK, uncut on Full Moon and Exploitation in the US under the name ‘SS Hell Camp’.

Title: Blood Feast (1963)

Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis

Uncut running time: 67 minutes

Alternative titles: ‘Egyptian Blood Feast’, ‘Feast of Flesh’

The oldest of the video nasties, this wonderfully bad film is incredibly amateurish but the first of its type. Introducing the world to the splatter film, an insane caterer is commissioned to produce an Egyptian feast, the client unaware that he intends to resurrect an ancient Goddess by laying on a buffet of human flesh – see my more in depth review by clicking here.

Released by Astra in 1982 it was prosecuted in July 1983 and remained on the list throughout. A slightly silly decision as, yes, gruesome though it is it clearly has its tongue placed firmly in its cheek and with, quite frankly terrible special effects that have the potential to offend no one! This makes the decision to remove 23 seconds for its Tartan release in 2001 even more ridiculous; it would have been passed uncut were it not for a successful prosecution at some point within the previous ten years – a genuine law!!! Finally passed uncut for Odeon DVD in 2005 with everyone who bought it, though undoubtedly entertained, wondering what all the fuss was about.

Current status: Uncut in the UK as part of Arrow’s ‘Herschell Gordon Lewis Feast’ uncut and unrated in the US as part of the Blood Trilogy.